My favorite day is December 21st, because that day is my birthday.

   On my birthday, I will have a birthday party at home. I’m going to invite my best friends to join in my party. And the highlight of the party will be the birthday cake. Before the party, I’m go to order one which must be big and delicious.  Then,  at the party, I will make a wish after lighting the birthday candle.  In the meantime, my parents and friends will sing a birthday song for me. At last, we’ll enjoy the party.

   After the party, my friends and I are going to have fun in the backyard. I’ll share my favorite toys with them.

   So, my favorite day is my birthday!

修改后：

   My favorite day is December 21st, because it is my birthday that day.

   On my birthday, I always have a birthday party at home. I always invite my best friends to my party. As the happiest time for everyone is eating the cake,  I always go to the baker’s to order a big and delicious cake before the party.  At the party, I will make a wish after lighting the birthday candle.  In the meantime, my parents and friends will sing a birthday song for me. At last, we’ll enjoy the party.

   After the party, my friends and I always have fun in the backyard. I’ll share my favorite toys with them.

   I can have a lot of fun on my birthday, so I like it best!

    五年级:周子涵