Everybody knows what we should do when somebody is in trouble, from country to country; many people helped some poor men. I am very happy to finally write my diary, and now I will tell of a very funny story of a little girl who lived among the camps.

  Stacie wanted to live in a big hotel for the holidays, but her parents sent her to a terrible camp instead. Stacie loved juice and chocolate milk for breakfast, but she got water at the camp. In the afternoon Stacie wanted to write poems, but she had to swim; there were spider webs hanging above the tents in which Stacie slept, she hate it!

  One day Stacie and her class were learning about water safety, and how water was used for competing against fire. Finally when the teacher decided that the children were good enough, she hired some boats and let the children ride on it and have fun; Stacie had never planned to go on a boat. In the afternoon they played a game; the children were divided into two groups, the red team and the blue team; Stacie was on the blue team. The rule of the game is to shoot with water guns to the other team’s player and find the other teams flag in the pole. Next, the team player had to get the flag out of the pole and give it to the teacher, and that team had won!

  The teacher filled all of the children guns with water, and then they began to play. A little boy said to Stacie, “Stacie,” he said, “You go to the left, I will go right, and those two shall go front.” Stacie still didn’t want to play. Stacie walked left; suddenly she saw one of the red team players. She hid behind a tree and jumped out and shot the team player with her water gun, “This is fun!” she cried delighted.

  Soon afterwards she saw the red team flag. One of the red team players was watching over it. Stacie shot him with her water gun, and got the flag out from the pole. Finally she got the red flag out of the pole, she ran to her teacher immediately shouting, “I’ve got it! I’ve got it!” the blue team had won against the red team; Stacie was the hero of the day.

  For the red of the holidays Stacie had fun, she even made new friends.

  What does this story tell you? If you had not tried the fun then you will never know the end. I love writing my diaries, and telling these stories to you.

修改后 

  Everybody knows what we should do when somebody is in trouble, from country to country; many people helped some poor men. I am very happy to finally write my diary, and now I will tell a very funny story of a little girl who lived among the camps.

  Stacie wanted to live in a big hotel for the holidays, but her parents sent her to a terrible camp instead. Stacie loved juice and chocolate milk for breakfast, but she got water at the camp. In the afternoon Stacie wanted to write poems, but she had to swim; there were spider webs hanging above the tents in which Stacie slept, she hate it!

  One day Stacie and her class were learning about water safety, and how water was used for competing against fire. Finally when the teacher decided that the children were good enough, she rent some boats and let the children ride on it and have fun; Stacie had never planned to go on a boat. In the afternoon they played a game; the children were divided into two groups, the red team and the blue team; Stacie was on the blue team. The rule of the game is to shoot with water guns to the other team’s player and find the other team’s flag in the pole. Next, the team player had to get the flag out of the pole and give it to the teacher, and that team would win!

  The teacher filled all of the children guns with water and then they began to play. A little boy said to Stacie, “Stacie,” he said, “You go to the left, I will go right, and those two shall go front.” Stacie still didn’t want to play. Stacie walked left; suddenly she saw one of the red team players. She hid behind a tree and jumped out and shot the team player with her water gun, “This is fun!” she cried delighted.

  Soon afterwards she saw the red team flag. One of the red team players was watching over it. Stacie shot him with her water gun, and got the flag out from the pole. Finally she got the red flag out of the pole, she ran to her teacher immediately shouting, “I’ve got it! I’ve got it!” the blue team had won against the red team; Stacie was the hero of the day.

  For the rest of the holidays Stacie had fun, she even made new friends.

  What does this story tell you? If you had not tried the fun then you will never know the end. I love writing my diaries and telling these stories to you.

    四年级:欧阳雨鹭