There was once a little girl that wanted to live in peace, but she couldn’t since her house or should I say family is very, very poor.

  One day the little girl called Anna went to pick mushrooms in the forest with her friends. She picked plenty of mushrooms and walked deep into the forest. It gradually became dark, and Anna wanted to go home, she called her friends; but they were no where to be found. She wanted to go home on her own, she walked and walked into the forest; it seemed as if it had no end. At last, she found a tiny little house, Anna walked close to it.

  She knocked on the door but there was no answer, she knocked again, but there was still no answer; at last she quietly opened the door, and inside she found a warm fire place. She walked to the fir place, and sat there. Before one minute, a bear walked in, he saw Anna; and said, “What are you doing in my house?” “My name is Anna, and I am lost…” “Oh,” said the bear, “In that case you can stay here; but you must prepare the food and dust the house in return…”

  One day Anna baked a tray of apple tarts, she put them in a big basket and said to the bear; “Oh bear, could you deliver these apple tarts to my parents?” “You have done a great job so I will agree: I shall send these apple tarts to your parents. I’ll just fetch my walking stick and head out immediately…” “Remember bear, if you eat one tart, I shall know immediately;” the bear went to fetch his walking stick, in the mean time; Anna hid herself in the basket, and the bear set off from home.

  He walked a distance and said to himself, “I shall eat one apple tart;” suddenly he heard Anna’s voice saying, “Big bear I’ve caught you!” “Oh my, oh my!” cried the bear, “I had better walk a while before eating any of the tarts…” As he said that, the started off again. After he was a long from home, he said; “I shall rest here, and in the mean time eat one apple tart…” Suddenly he heard Anna’s voice saying again, “Big bear; I’ve caught you again!” “Oh me, oh my!” cried the bear, “That girl must have magic eyes!” then he started off once more.

  When he at last reached his journeys end, he placed the basket in front of Anna’s front door, and walked away from home. When Anna’s mom and dad opened the door, they saw Anna jump out from the basket and running to the. There was no chance of saying how happy they were!

修改后 

  There was once a little girl that wanted to live in peace, but she couldn’t since her house or should I say family is very, very poor.

  One day the little girl called Anna went to pick mushrooms in the forest with her friends. She picked plenty of mushrooms and walked deep into the forest. It gradually became dark, and Anna wanted to go home, she called her friends; but they were nowhere to be found. She wanted to go home on her own, she walked and walked into the forest; it seemed as if it had no end. At last, she found a tiny little house, Anna walked close to it.

  She knocked at the door but there was no answer, she knocked again, but there was still no answer; at last she quietly opened the door, and inside she found a warm fire place. She walked to the fire place, and sat there. Before one minute, a bear walked in, he saw Anna; and said, “What are you doing in my house?” “My name is Anna, and I am lost…” “Oh,” said the bear, “In that case you can stay here; but you must prepare the food and dust the house in return…”

  One day Anna baked a tray of apple tarts, she put them in a big basket and said to the bear; “Oh bear, could you deliver these apple tarts to my parents?” “You have done a great job so I will agree: I shall send these apple tarts to your parents. I’ll just fetch my walking stick and head out immediately…” “Remember bear, if you eat one tart, I shall know immediately;” the bear went to fetch his walking stick, in the meantime; Anna hid herself in the basket, and the bear set off from home.

  He walked a distance and said to himself, “I shall eat one apple tart;” suddenly he heard Anna’s voice saying, “Big bear I’ve caught you!” “Oh my, oh my!” cried the bear, “I had better walk a while before eating any of the tarts…” As he said that, the bear started off again. After he was far from home, he said; “I shall rest here, and in the meantime eat one apple tart…” Suddenly he heard Anna’s voice saying again, “Big bear; I’ve caught you again!” “Oh my, oh my!” cried the bear, “That girl must have magic eyes!” then he started off once again.

  When he at last reached his journeys end, he placed the basket in front of Anna’s front door, and walked away from home. When Anna’s mom and dad opened the door, they saw Anna jump out from the basket and running to them. There was no chance of saying how happy they were!

    四年级:欧阳雨鹭