There was once a boy and Henry who were both very good friends that lived very close to each other. Each day they would go outside and play. One day their parents had decided to let them go to school to learn lessons. Of course they both loved it very much.

  They were in the same class and studied very hard to earn a reward.

  One day when they were on their way to school, their parents told them to never ever go onto the ice; it may melt since spring was starting here.

  They both agreed, but did they really listen to them? Well, they went off to the pond since they were going to cross it, they were very lazy and did not want to go that far; they didn’t think that it was even possible that the ice would melt, so they went on the ice slowly to cross it.

  Suddenly, they both felt a crack under their feet, and the ice be to crack and melt; they were very nervous, and thought that if they could only listen to their parents. When it was time for school to start, they still didn’t cross it. At last when they were about to reach shore; boom! The ice cracked, and both of them fell into the cold icy water. They struggled for a while, at last Henry found a little spot where both of them could hold and pull them up from the icy water.

  They slowly swam to the beam, and stepped on a rock which was lying there, Henry lifted himself up and what do you know, he got up. The other boy did the same thing and both of them got on shore.

  They went to school all soaked wet and goofy, their teacher scolded them for not coming to school on time; of course they had extra homework for the day; but both of them didn’t mind. When they got home, they went to their parents and cried mother!” their moms saw them all soaked and wet, they asked them; “How did you get so wet?” and the boys cried out, “We didn’t obey you!” then they told them the whole story; and their moms were glad that Henry figured out that there was a rock that could bring them both safe onto land.

  They all learned a lesson, and it is:

  Always obey your parents no matter what happened; and remember this story if you don’t know about it. If you don’t obey your parents, the things that never happened might even come to life…

修改后：

  There was once a boy and Henry who were both very good friends that lived very close to each other. Each day they would go outside and play. One day their parents decided to let them go to school to learn lessons. Of course they both loved it very much.

  They were in the same class and studied very hard to earn a reward.

  One day when they were ready to go to school, their parents told them never ever to walk on the ice; it may melt since spring was starting here.

  They both agreed, but did they really keep in mind of it? Well, they went off to the pond since they were going to cross it. They were too lazy to walk the other ways; and they didn’t think that it was even possible that the ice would melt, so they went on the ice slowly to cross it.

  Suddenly, they both felt a crack under their feet, and the ice was to crack and melt. They were very nervous and regretted not following their parents’ advice. When it was time for school to start, they still didn’t cross it. When they were about to reach shore; boom! The ice cracked, and both of them fell into the cold icy water. They struggled for a while, at last Henry found a little spot where both of them could hold and pull them up from the icy water.

  They slowly swam to the beam, and stepped on a rock which was lying there, Henry lifted himself up and the other boy did the same thing and both of them got on shore.

  They went to school all soaked wet and goofy, their teacher scolded them for not coming to school on time. Of course they had extra homework for the day; but both of them didn’t mind. When they got home, they went to their parents and cried. Their moms saw them all soaked and wet, they asked them; “How did you get so wet?” and the boys cried out, “We didn’t obey you!” Then they told them the whole story. Their moms were glad that Henry figured out that there was a rock that could bring them both safe onto land.

  They all learned a lesson, and it is:

  Always obey your parents no matter what happened. If you don’t obey your parents, the terrible things that never happened might even come to life…

    四年级:欧阳雨鹭