There are many people in our lives.Some are our friends.They ofen help for us.For example,first,with the help of them we make progress in our study.second,they ofen bring many funny for us.They also take away many bad things.and so on.So they play a very important part in our lives.I also have many friends.We ofen help and encourage each other everyday.So,I think we should choose some frends who can help you and get along well with.

修改后：
Everyone needs friends. They often help us a lot. Firstly, with the help of them we can make progress in our study. Secondly, they often bring us lots of laughters. And they can share our sorrow, too. They play a very important role in our lives. I have many friends. We ofen help and encourage each other. So, I think we should make more friends and get along well with them. 
修改老师：Crystal老师 

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